


Trying to Burn the Night Away

by indevan



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, Flashbacks, Gay Male Character, Kidnapping, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2019-07-28 22:25:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16251014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indevan/pseuds/indevan
Summary: He couldn’t come into his apartment using the key as if he had any right to even still have it in the dead of night, scare the shit out of him, and then say he needed his help.  It didn’t work like that.  Years ago, when Lapis was young and foolish and in love, it was one thing, but that was then





	Trying to Burn the Night Away

**Author's Note:**

> back on my bullshit of niche au's for my rarepair

Lapis was awoken by the sound of a key sliding in his deadbolt.  He sat up in bed, grogginess fading as instincts kicked in. Logic, beating at the back of his head, dictated that it was his sister dropping by late from whatever it was she was doing.  She had moved out to move  _ in _ with her boyfriend (her future husband, as he teased her, but there was still no ring), but she still had a key.  Sometimes she came around unceremoniously, hour be damned, just to check on her little brother.

She always lorded her age over him as if the seven minutes separating their birth times meant anything.  Technically speaking, she always joked, Lapis was a  _ whole day _ younger than her since she was born at 11:54 and he at 12:01.

It was probably his sister.

But if it wasn’t?

He felt the poke of anxiety in the back of his skull.  Something wasn’t quite right in his little apartment. Lapis got out of bed, careful not to disturb the oversized lump slumbering next to him (that didn’t even stir at the sound and commotion), and picked his boxers out from his ass because if there  _ was _ a home intruder then they were  _ not _ going to see him with a wedgie.  He knew he wasn’t intimidating at a glance.  Moreso now in his forest animal boxer shorts and a shirt he got from a thrift store that boasted that he completed the rib challenge, which he certainly  _ did _ not.  He had a feeling that a potential intruder would  _ not _ find the irony of he, a vegetarian for ten years, owning the shirt as amusing as he did.

He had to find other ways to be intimidating.  And that was in his bedside drawer. It wasn’t his, which meant it was technically illegal but it had been a gift.  Technically. Lapis still remembered the cold metal on his palm, the weight of it, and the hand covering it over top of his.  The dark, pleading eyes, the rough voice saying, “Stay safe, okay?”

A memory he wanted to leave behind.

Truthfully, he didn’t even know if the gun was loaded.  Hopefully the sight of it would scare the intruder and, if it came to it, maybe he could throw it at them like the bad guys tried to do to Superman.

Lapis stepped out of his bedroom into the darkened apartment.  He didn’t see anyone and the door was closed now. Had he just imagined it?  A hand closed over his wrist and he jerked out, swinging the gun as if it were a baseball bat.  He  _ knew _ how to shoot, but he never been in a situation like this.  He just reacted.

He heard a muffled “oof” as the hand holding the gun came in contact with something hard--firm.  It fell from his hand to clatter to the floor. The gun didn’t go off, which meant that it probably wasn’t loaded.  The impact of his hand was apparently enough to make his attacker let go. He saw the shadow stagger back, hunched as if they were grabbing at their middle.

“Shit, I forgot how freakishly strong you are.”

What fear he had felt was now replaced with annoyance.  The  _ nerve _ after all this time.  Breaking into his apartment at bullshit o’clock.  Being a fucking weirdo in the darkness like a goddamn vampire.  Lapis was silver-tongued. He knew this, everyone knew this. He always had a response but right now, his anger stewed in his head, burbling to a boil, and he struggled to get the words out.

“You...fuckdick!”

The shadow righted itself to its full height, nearly a foot above Lapis’s measly five feet seven inches.

“What’s a fuckdick?”

Good question.

“It’s what you are!”

There was no going back now.  Fuckdick it was. Angrily, he reached down and scooped up the gun.

“What are you doing here?”

Not waiting for an answer, Lapis stomped over to where he knew a lamp was and pressed his foot on the switch to turn it on.  Warm light filled a portion of his tiny living room, illuminating his nighttime visitor. Illuminating a face he thought he wasn’t going to see again.

Raditz still looked good because of course he did.  He was somehow buffer, bigger. He was wearing an unfairly tight t-shirt stretched over his firm, defined chest.  His thighs were practically tearing out of his jeans. He always looked like something from a beefcake magazine. Any gay guy’s hot, muscled wet dream.  Lapis had been that way before he really knew him. Before he loved him and before everything that happened after that.

His face, though, was the same.  His big features: full lips, heavy brows, square jaw.  His hair, too, was still a riotous, wild mess of a lion’s mane.

“Aw, c’mon, Tin Man, don’t be that way.”

Tin Man.  The nickname Raditz had given him back when they were together.  He said it was because he pretended to be cool and calm and heartless but he was secretly a marshmallow, just like the character in the film.  He would do a bad impression of his line of “now I know I have a heart ‘cause it’s broken!” every time he saw Lapis get teary-eyed at the animal shelter where he used to volunteer.

“Don’t call me that,” he said sharply. “And you didn’t answer my question.  What are you doing here?”

Raditz pursed his lips and he knew something was wrong.  He didn’t know how he lasted as long as he did in the seedy underbelly of West City.  His face betrayed everything.

“I need help.”

“No.”

He couldn’t come into his apartment using the  _ key _ as if he had any right to even still  _ have _ it in the dead of night, scare the shit out of him, and then say he needed his help.  It didn’t  _ work _ like that.  Years ago, when Lapis was young and foolish and in love, it was one thing, but that was then.

“Lapis--”

“You can’t just do this.  Not after all this time. I thought--”

He caught himself before he said it out loud.  The fear that had plagued him those first wretched months after Raditz left.  That he was dead or in prison. That was why they had ended it, wasn’t it? Lapis couldn’t deal with his life anymore.  He had his studies to focus on. His  _ career. _  His  _ life. _  He wasn’t going to fuck around every day worried about his boyfriend who was out there committing crimes for other people.

And that came around to the “help.”  When Raditz wanted “help,” it was usually with something illegal.

“Look, I woulda come sooner--”

“No you wouldn’t,” he said.  He fiddled with the useless gun in his hands.  It was all he had the patience to do.

“Lapis--”

“I don’t have time for this.  It’s late and I want to go back to bed.”

Raditz looked angry.

“Stop interrupting me.”

Lapis arched his brows. “No.”

He was a shit-stirrer by nature.  It had tempered over the years, but it never went away.  Even though the pissy look on his face remained, Raditz held his hands up in surrender.

“I don’t wanna fight.”

“Then what  _ do _ you want?”

He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.  He looked almost sheepish and the move pulled that t-shirt even tighter, the muscles in his arms flexing  _ just so... _ Lapis ended that train of thought right there.

“I need a place to stay.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You mean you need a place to lay low.”

“No!  Christ, Lapis--I.  I fucked up.”

That was no joke, but Lapis laughed anyway.  It was a harsh and hollow sound.

“What else is new?”

A rueful smile. “You got me there.”

Lapis took a measured breath.  His smile was the same, too, but he wouldn’t yield.  He had spent the last three years rebuilding himself after everything with Raditz.  After all he was put through.

“Get out,” he said. “You can’t stay here.”

The smile fell away, replaced by a dark scowl.

“You can’t act all better and  _ holy _ now, Lapis.  You were bad, too.”

Anger flared in his chest.

“Yeah.  As a teenager.”

He had had trouble with the law.  Petty theft, grand theft auto, whatever thrill he could give himself to try and break the jade casings around his eyes.  He had been to juvie twice, even, but like everything else that was then.

“What about with me?”

“That was…” Again, anger clouded his mind and he was unable to think of a proper response. “Get out, Raditz.”

He gestured towards the door with the gun.

“Can’t you just listen to me?”

His tone was terse and he was--tense.  His whole body was fraught with restrained energy.

“About what?” he demanded.

“It’s not like that anymore.  I’m not--please. Just for the night?”

His tone was sweet enough that he almost gave in.  Nostalgia gripped at his bones and he remembered when he would take that tone with him in the bedroom, gentle and pleading, before Lapis drove him wild with his ministrations.

“No,” he said firmly.

“Tin Ma--”

“No--get out.  And give me back my damn key.”

To his surprise, he did.  Lapis closed his free hand over it and gestured to the door again with the gun.  They both knew it was empty at this point, but he liked the dramatic flair it allowed him.

Raditz shuffled towards the door, but stopped when he got to the cluttered coffee table.  They were closer now, somehow, than they were before. He looked at the books mounded on it.

“Permaculture,” he said. “Still, huh?”

“I said get out.”

He locked the door behind him and rested his head against it.  Why was he here? What was he running from?

Lapis squeezed his eyes shut.  It was none of his business. He walked back to his bedroom and tossed the all but useless gun into his bedside drawer.

_ “It’s not like that anymore.” _

What did that mean?  Raditz was what? Walking the straight and narrow?  Lapis nearly laughed at that. Straight--sure. And, if so, what prompted the change, because it sure as fuck wasn’t him.  With a sigh, he threw himself back into bed but he knew that sleep was beyond him.

\--

**_Three years ago_ **

 

“What the fuck is permaculture?”

Raditz was always so blunt and bull-headed about things.  He blundered into situations where finesse was required. He lamented it to him, more than once.  A failure of his upbringing. Or maybe he was a fuck-up at birth. Nurture, nature--he babbled on.  Lapis had listened, of course, stroking his hair from his forehead and kissing away his troubles.

“Environmental design,” he said.  It was only one example but the one that interested him the most. “A way to combine my environmental studies with something more sustainable.”

He hummed in the back of his throat.  They were in bed, which was often the case, but their clothes were on for once.  Pajamas, at least.

“What happened to being a park ranger?”

He shrugged. “I don’t think I could handle the bureaucracy.”

“Rebel, rebel.”

He sang a few bars of the song and locked his arms around Lapis’s waist.  He liked when they had these talks. Raditz sounded legitimately interested in what he wanted to study.  Maybe because it was such a stark contrast to his life or, as he put it, his series of fuck-ups set to music.

“Working with nature, not against it,” he explained further.

He nodded. “Sounds cool.  Maybe I could help. I did real well in shop class before I dropped out.”

Sometimes Raditz spoke blithely about his life, like it was a joke, but he knew he regretted a lot of it.  Why he didn’t leave, though, was beyond him. Lapis himself had had a wild youth, but he had calmed himself down.  Finished school. Went to college. Why couldn’t Raditz? But he didn’t ask. He wouldn’t answer him if he did.

Instead he said, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.  You plan, I build.  We’ll make a great team.”

He kissed him and Lapis kissed back, matching his enthusiasm.  He didn’t buy it for a minute. He was beholden to someone--he wouldn’t say who--and Raditz was stuck in this life, whether he wanted to be or not.  And did he? He never expressed joy at his supposed profession but nor did he seem remorseful.

He didn’t say any of that.  It was taboo, anyway. Instead, he concentrated on getting his clothes off.

\--

Lapis awoke, angry with himself at the memory.  How it slid in there, unbidden, into his dreams.  He glared at the lump beside him in bed.

“Some watchdog you are,” he said, letting his tone be accusatory.

His dog lifted his heavy head and made a snorting sound through his mouth.  Sasquatch was an enormous thing for being just three-years-old, which made sense considering that he was a Leonberger/Newfoundland mix.

Lapis scratched the dog behind the ears and trudged into the bathroom.  He brushed his teeth, spitting the hemp-flavored paste into the sink basin.  He walked into Lazurite’s room to sift some seed into his bird’s tray. He was responsible for taking after his roommate’s bird while he was studying abroad for the semester.  If nothing else, it helped him keep his mind off of last night. Raditz’s untriumphant return.

He walked back to his room to get changed and watched Sasquatch watching him with big, dark eyes.

“You want to go for a walk, don’t you?”

In response, the dog hopped off of the bed and began knocking his huge head against Lapis’s thigh.  He let out a laugh. It was hard to stay angry when there was a dog around.

_ Wasn’t that why you adopted him in the first place? _

He told his treacherous inner voice to shut up and focused his attention on Sasquatch.

“Alright, alright.  Let me just get changed.”

It was a perfect early fall day out, which was at odds with his desire to stay in a bad mood.  He trod over dead leaves, savoring the crunch underfoot, as he fought against having his arm pulled out of his socket by his dog.

Luckily, the coffee shop he frequented wasn’t far from his apartment so they didn’t have to go far.  That was the reason he had initially grown fond of the place, anyway, since he and Lazurite would often take their studying here when they first moved into the building.  His sister would come but she was studying something completely different and would grow bored with the two of them talking back and forth about conservation and the nation’s piss poor handling of it.  Lapis was conscious of his own footprint but knew that companies put the onus on individuals while ignoring the fact that corporations were the cause of most pollution and Lazurite would call him a cynic.  Raditz came along with them and would support his passions, talking about the broken system he knew all too well.

Another memory.  But it couldn’t be helped, could it?  He wasn’t in the mood to become a regular at another coffee shop and, anyway, this one gave Sasquatch the puppuccinos he liked, no questions asked.

Lapis placed his usual order--he didn’t really have to but he didn’t want to be one of  _ those _ regulars who just expected the staff to know what he wanted--and settled outside.  He tied Sasquatch’s leash to the weighted leg of one of the chairs. Despite his size, he could be quite lazy and was perfectly content to relax in the sun with his puppuccino and bowl filled with water.

Someone brought out his drink and he took it with a nod of thanks.  He wished, then, that he had brought more than himself, his phone, and Sasquatch with him.  The weather was perfect and burying himself in his studies was a perfect way to get over the night before, dream and all.

“Lavender and honey iced latte?  Still?”

Lapis swore under his breath as a shadow fell over him.

“Are you stalking me?”

Raditz smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck.  The light of day didn’t diminish how good he looked. In fact, wearing a light denim jacket only made him look more delectable and, if Lapis hadn’t spent the past three years steeling himself against such things, he would have noticed more than he did.

“No.  I just.  Wanted to apologize for last night.  I shouldn’t have--it’s.” He shook his head.

“Still have a way with words, huh?”

“Still thinking that lavender and espresso belong together?”

His dark eyes twinkled as he said it and, against his better judgment, his heart lurched.  Raditz glanced down and he nearly gasped.

“You’ve got a dog?!”

Whatever poorly worded apology he had been trying to spit out was forgotten as he knelt down to scratch Sasquatch behind the ears.  Part of Lapis wanted his dog to clue in to his own anger just reject him, but he responded to the touch immediately, licking Raditz’s hands and face with gusto.

_ So much for loyalty… _

He had to admit that the picture was a bit adorable.  Raditz with his eyes closed, laughing while his dog went to town licking him.

“What’s his name?”

“Sasquatch,” he said before he could stop himself.

Raditz gave him a knowing smirk and he wanted to toss his coffee at him.  He didn’t, of course, because he was  _ over _ him and an adult, but he slit his eyes in a glare.

“So you came to apologize?” he asked in hopes to expedite this visit and get back on with his life, Raditz-free.

He nodded, righting himself and wiping his slobber-covered hands on his jeans.

“Yeah.  I shouldn’t have stormed in and gotten you involved again.  Or tried to.” He licked his lips nervously.

“Oh.” It was against his better judgment but he tacked on, “Where did you sleep last night?”

Raditz’s hands fidgeted to his hair and then dropped to dangle uselessly at his sides.

“My brother’s.”

Lapis arched his brows in surprise.

“Really?  Did Chi-Chi know you were there?”

Back when they were together, Raditz would often talk about how his sister-in-law never wanted him around her son or for him to put any of them in danger.  How he didn’t blame her even if it meant that he only saw his nephew rarely.

“Yeah, of course.”

That was an even bigger surprise.  If Chi-Chi was willingly letting him stay the night then maybe he  _ had _ changed.  Even so, he didn’t trust it, and he wasn’t going to.  Not now.

“Okay,” he said and lifted his chin so they were looking each other in the eye. “Thank you for the apology.”

Raditz gave him a rushed smile. “Yeah.  Uh. See y--I mean. Bye, Lapis.”

Then, as quickly as he came, he was gone back down the street.  Lapis stared at the condensation on the curved side of his glass and frowned.  Maybe it was just as well that he didn’t bring his textbooks. He felt exposed and strange sitting here, so he finished his drink and took hold of Sasquatch’s leash before he left.

When he was by himself, he would simply walk through the crosswalks on the two blocks to his apartment regardless of the light but since he had his dog with him, he waited patiently for the signal.

“Puppy!”

He barely reacted, used to children’s reactions to Sasquatch.  It was a good thing he had such a good temperament because his size and general fluffiness attracted many an excited child to try and pet him.

Lapis turned as the kid rushed at him.  He was maybe three and dressed in a fall-themed sweatshirt and black corduroys.  His face looked familiar. Maybe it was the conversation with Raditz but he couldn’t help but think that this kid sort of looked like his brother.

“Goten, baby, no.  You can’t just pet random dogs.”

A woman jogged over.  She tucked some overgrown bangs from her eyes and sighed.

“I’m sorry, I--Lapis?”

It had been years since he saw Chi-Chi and even then he had only met her a handful of times.

“It’s alright,” he said because it was easier than anything else. “He can pet him.”

Goten let out a happy squeal and rubbed his face on Sasquatch’s fur.

“Baby, he said ‘pet him,’ not burrow yourself in his--” She cut herself off with a sigh.  Shaking her head, she looked at Lapis. “How have you been?”

“Good,” he said. “Nearly done with my masters.”

“Oh, that’s good.  I’ve been busy with this little one.” She gestured to Goten who was now receiving face licks from Sasquatch, who was clearly glad to meet so many new friends in such a short period of time.

“Where’s Gohan?” he asked.

“School.”

He nodded and decided to broach the question that he really wanted to ask.

“Did Raditz stay at your place last night?”

Chi-Chi made sort of a face and then nodded.

“Yeah.  He said he’s not involved in anything shady anymore and Kakarrot trusts him but.” She shook her head. “I have no reason not to believe him.”

Wasn’t that the kicker, hmm?

Lapis bobbed his head in a nod.

“Yeah.  I saw him recently.”

“I know.  He said he went around to your place first and you threw him out.” She smiled as she said it.  To Goten she said, “Baby, let up. We have to get to your playdate.”

She picked him up out of Sasquatch’s eager licks and wiped at his face with her sleeve.

“You don’t want to keep Trunks waiting.”

Goten let out a little chirp of happiness.  The light turned and he gave her a little nod in farewell.

“See you,” she said.

“Bye-bye,” Goten said, waving his little hand.

“Right,” he said. “Bye.”

He tugged a little on Sasquatch’s leash and started across the street.  Trunks--that was another name he hadn’t heard in a long time.

\--

**_Three years ago_ **

 

Trunks toddled towards them on his chunky legs, a look of concentration on his face.  He was a cute thing, even is Lapis had no idea what to do with babies. He had attitude, at least, which was at least entertaining.  He was very discerning about who held him, which led to him vomiting on Zarbon’s suit when last he had come around. Vegeta had told them this story when they arrived, pride all but dripping from his words.

Right now, it was just him and Raditz with him while a meeting went on.  This was a Big Deal Meeting, apparently, but he didn’t get any details. He didn’t want them.  Raditz was adamant about keeping him from being an accessory. It was sweet, in a fucked up sort of way.

“Cute kid,” he mused out loud.

Raditz nodded.  He was on his side, head propped up, while he watched Trunks totter around the living room.  Every now and then he would fall on his diapered butt but it didn’t seem to deter him. He would just get back up and continue on his wandering adventure that seemed to have no end goal.

“Chi-Chi’s pregnant,” he said suddenly.

Lapis wasn’t sure what to say but he was saved by Trunks waving a plush dinosaur at him while babbling incoherently.  He accepted it and then turned to his boyfriend, cocking his head.

“Oh?”

“Yeah.  I. Wanna be able to see this one.” He let out a laugh but it sounded fake.  He pulled himself up and sat cross-legged and Lapis tried to ignore how sitting like that pulled his legs deliciously tight against his thighs.

He understood him, mostly.  Raditz tried to keep his little brother away from the life he led.  Their relationship was fractured but healing, but this was always an issue.  Kakarrot was the good boy and Raditz was the fuck up, at least that was what he told him.  And he wanted to keep it that way. His brother’s wife, as well, wanted that and never let him over to see little Gohan.

Lapis frowned as he accepted another toy that Trunks delivered to him.  Chi-Chi (and Raditz) didn’t want Kakarrot anywhere near the criminal life he led, nor did she wanted her child--soon to be children--around it.  He watched Trunks pick up a soft block and rush it over to the growing pile in front of Lapis. His mother, Vegeta’s girlfriend Bulma, had no problems with it.  She went on with her life and fucked the working muscle for a criminal organization. She let her son be in the other room while “discussions” were being held. Maybe she cared or worried about the safety of her son and the man she loved, but she bore no judgment to his lifestyle.  At least not vocally. It wasn’t like they were close so maybe she said things behind closed doors.

But wasn’t he the same?

He went on with his life and took Raditz into his bed and more or less ignored what he did.  Where the money he would use to pay for their movie tickets or dinners out came from. He chewed his lip, not wanting to think about it.  It was too much introspection when he was slowly being consumed by a pile of plush.

“We’re good at this,” Raditz said, clearly wanting to change the subject himself. “Like, look.  Trunks is having a ball.”

He wisely didn’t point out that Trunks was largely entertaining himself.

“What if we had kids?” he asked and then laughed in a booming way and this time it was real.

Lapis cracked a smirk. “Aw, are you getting soft?”

“Maybe.” He slapped a hand against his abs. “Nope, still good.”

He rolled his eyes at the obvious joke but leaned over to affectionately stroke his hair.

“You’d make a good dad, Sasquatch,” he murmured.

\--

For the second time in as many nights, Lapis was awoken by his door unlocking.  He sighed, irritated.

“So much for wanting to keep me out of your bullshit,” he muttered under his breath.

This time, Sasquatch leapt out of the bed and began scratching and barking at the closed door.  Lapis frowned.

“Where was this last night?”

Of course, the dog didn’t answer, just kept growling.  His lips were pulled back from his teeth in a scowl and Lapis was about to say more when he heard the movement outside his apartment.  Movements and voices.

Plural.

He thought of the empty gun in his nightstand drawer and cursed himself.  There was more than one person in his apartment. The second the thought registered in his mind, the door to his room opened.  Lapis realized he was sitting foolishly up in bed without any way to defend himself. In the gloom, he saw five figures. Two were already in his room and three more, much taller, were behind them.

“Shit, no one said anything about a dog.”

Sasquatch bent low to the ground, ready to pounce.  Lapis got the horrible mental image, then, of one of these goons shooting him.  He opened his mouth to talk but one of the men cut him off by grabbing his arm.

“Get out of bed.  C’mon.”

It was the first man who spoke, who had mentioned his dog.  The one with the Australian accent.

“Check for weapons, babe,” he told someone.

A third man entered the room and began rooting through his drawers.  He retrieved the gun and checked it. Upon finding it empty, he jammed it in his waistband.  The other man who had been in his room--indiscernible except for his short stature, kept a wary eye on Sasquatch.  Lapis resisted to the touch on instinct.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

That wasn’t the right thing to say since he immediately felt something cold on his temple.

“C’mon,” the man repeated. “We need to have a little chat and your dog is barking far too loud for us to hear ourselves, yeah?”

With a gun on him and no other choice, Lapis let himself be dragged from bed.  Sasquatch charged at them and one of the large men outside the door shoved him back into the bedroom before slamming the door.

“Didn’t hear nothin’ about a dog,” he said in a drawling voice. “Don’t wanna go around hurting animals.”

“That’s some moral compass you’ve got there,” he said dryly.

His reward was another gun, this one pointed to his back.

“Should we blindfold ‘im?” Australian asked.

This time a rough, raspy voice spoke.

“No.”

“No?”

That was a new voice, so he figured it had to be the fifth person.  The short one. Lapis didn’t like the sound of “no.” There could really only be one reason why they didn’t care if he saw their faces.  Despite his nonchalant comments, he could feel icy fear grip the back of his head. He could ignore it, somewhat, when they were together but there was no hiding the fact that Raditz knew some very dangerous people.  Very dangerous people who were now holding him at gunpoint.

“We’re the faithful bodyguards of legitimate businessman, Frieza Colde.  He’s Lapis Gero, age twenty-five. Two times spent in a juvenile detention center for grand theft auto.  Three times arrested for petty theft, no charges pressed. Who’s going to believe him?”

“Oh, good,” Australia said. “I wore my new shoes tonight.  Didn’t want to get blood on ‘em.”

So they weren’t going to kill him.  It unsettled him that they knew about his past and the name they mentioned.  Frieza Colde. Raditz had spoken it a few times in passing. “Legitimate businessman,” was a fucking farce.

They got him out of the apartment building and into a parked van.  Much of the drive was a blur as Lapis sat between the two men who held guns at him, trying to make out their facial features in the whizz of passing streetlights.

They finally came to a parking lot, vacant except for a sleek, black limo.  Lapis was shoved from the van, to the limo and found himself staring at an uncomfortably handsome man.

Lapis wasn’t a stranger to the male form.  Before and after Raditz, he had had his share of boyfriends and hookups, never lasting very long or very potently (which was probably at least one reason why it was so hard to get over Raditz) but the man in front of him was something else.  He was handsome but in such a way that he was very nearly ugly. There was something harsh and sharp about his beauty. He wore a shiny, green suit and thin-soled shoes. One leg was folded over the other, revealing an iridescent orange sock.  His hair was silky and tied in a loose braid. He knew this man--sort of. His name was Zarbon.

“Hello,” he said in a posh, polished voice. “I’m so glad you could meet with me, Mr. Gero.”

As if he had come voluntarily.

“Right.”

“I’m here on behalf of someone else to talk about your involvement with a certain member of a criminal organization.”

“Your criminal organization?” he chanced.

Zarbon laughed. “Oh, no.  I’m an art dealer. I just have friends with certain...interests.”

Right.

“If you’re talking about Raditz, we’re through.  I broke up with him three years ago.”

“Then why was he at your apartment last night?”

The statement sent chills down his spine.  They were  _ watching _ him?  For how long?  Before last night?

“He came in and I threw him out,” he said, keeping his voice even. “That’s all.  I have no involvement with him.”

Zarbon’s eyes crinkled at the corners. “I believe you.  You see, your  _ ex _ has connections to someone  _ my _ friend has a vested interest in.  Someone my friend believes might turn against him.”

Lapis fought the urge to roll his eyes.  He loved playing games, especially when he was younger and especially in the bedroom, but this type of circular talk just annoyed him.

“Vegeta,” he said and Zarbon winced as if his name was pointed. “Like I said, I haven’t spoken to Raditz for three years until last night and he didn’t mention anything.  Sorry.”

His insides felt like jelly but he was glad his words were steady.  He wasn’t lying but there was a van full of men with guns and Zarbon was probably armed himself.  And he was, again, barefoot and in his boxers and t-shirt.

_ All these people breaking into my house are lucky I don’t sleep naked… _

The thought, incongruous as it was, came to him and he nearly laughed.  Zarbon looked like he was about to say more but was cut off by the sound of sirens.  Reflected on his hideously handsome face, he could see the flash of lights. Lapis’s stomach dropped.  Cops. With the potential of being caught, Zarbon would probably order him killed. He would be killed and no one would be able to take care of his dog.

\--

It turned out that someone in his apartment had seen men with guns leaving the building and called the cops.  The WCPD tailed them and struck. Of course his kidnappers and Zarbon got away and left him there sprawled inelegantly on the pavement after Zarbon shoved him out of the limo.

Now, he sat in the police station, feeling cold and damp and scuffed up.  Feeling damn tired.

“I didn’t get their names,” he said for what felt like the hundredth time. “And I barely saw their faces.  One was Australian.”

The detectives questioning him exchanged a look that was probably meaningful.

“And you’re sure the man who spoke to you was Zarbon?”

He nodded. “Yes.  It was him.”

One detective scowled down at his feet and Lapis wondered if he had said something wrong.  He didn’t like cops.

“It’s probably the Ginyus,” his partner said.

There was another meaningful look shared and Lapis was beginning to think that there was more going on.  There was some investigation. Probably some long, carefully plotted out takedown of Frieza Colde. But he didn’t care.  He should care and he did on a normal day. That was why he ended things with Raditz, after all. Right now, at ass o’clock in the morning and sitting in front of two detectives with scraped knees and an old Depeche Mode shirt, he just wanted to go home.

But it wasn’t that easy.

It was nothing as fanciful as a crime drama so much as he filled out a report, said the same things to them that he said to Zarbon when they questioned him about his ex and any knowledge he had about his involvement with Colde, and then was told that he couldn’t go home.

“We’ll give you an escort to go and collect your things, but you can’t stay there tonight.”

Thinking it over, Lapis wasn’t sure that he wanted to.  Twice now someone had broken in in the middle of the night.  Raditz, at least, had a key. His kidnappers tonight had had no such luxuries and had just broken in.

“Do you have somewhere to stay?”

“Yes, my sister’s.  I can call her on the way.”

The detective nodded. “You do that.  Any luck and we can get you back in your place in a night or two.”

There was a pause as the detective regarded him.  He had probably run a quick search on him and found out about his checkered youth.  If he did, he didn’t say a word. But this look now, it was all too reminiscent of the cops who arrested him.  His teachers. His case workers. But then the look was gone and he looked at him with something approaching kindness.

“I’m sorry this happened to you, Mr. Gero.”

\--

His escort, apparently, was staying in his apartment as well and Lapis made him promise to feed Lazurite’s bird for him while he was away.  Sasquatch, though, came with him when he got into the Lyft that would take him to his sister’s house. He sat in the back with his bag in his lap and his dog against his side and stayed silent.  Sasquatch had been shaken up when he returned and had all but leapt into his arms.

Wasn’t this what he broke up with Raditz to avoid?

He wasn’t playing with the underbelly of the city.  He knew the harsh reality of it. There was no cinematic glamour to it.  It was down and dirty and he wanted no part of it. Now here he was, one day of seeing his ex again and he was fucking kidnapped by the Ginyus and brought before Zarbon as if he knew jackshit about anything.

His sister answered the door when he got to her place.  She stood there, hand on the jamb of the door and hair all over her head.

“Did you get involved with him again?” she asked because it was far too gauche for Lazuli Gero to say hello like a normal person.

“No.”

It was the truth.  Tonight sealed it. Even if Raditz didn’t mean it, he was still put in danger because of him.  His life, as he rebuilt it, could have been torn down.

“Come in, then.”

Lazuli stepped aside and let him in.  She smiled when she saw Sasquatch and reached down to scratch him behind his ears.  Sasquatch, despite his rough night, happily licked up and down her arms.

“You alright?”

He shrugged because he wasn’t sure how to respond.  He was fairly certain that he hadn’t fully processed what happened to him and the fallout would come in a day or two’s time.

“Krillin wanted to wait up for you but he has work early and I made him go to bed.”

A soft look that wasn’t normally present came upon her face and Lazuli smiled fondly towards the closed door to her bedroom.  He remembered when she first started dating Krillin and his only thought had been, “Him?” But he was earnest and kind and treated his sister well, far better than any of the previous pieces of shit she would date.  She loved him enough to eventually move in with him and start to build a life. They had a shared bank account and everything. And Lapis--Lapis had a dog and an ex with more baggage than King Furry International Airport.

She gave him a squeeze on the shoulder before disappearing into her bedroom and he was left to share the pullout couch with Sasquatch.  He tried to let the heavy yet steady breathing of his dog lull him to sleep but the adrenaline of the night had yet to wear off and he found himself staring at the ceiling, mind racing and blank at once.

He rolled onto his side and tried to push it from his mind enough to get  _ some _ sleep, but his body wouldn’t allow it.  His body and whoever was throwing up in the bathroom.

Lapis sat up, glad for some kind of distraction.  His dog didn’t stir as he climbed out of bed and walked down the hall to the slightly ajar bathroom door.  Light spilled into the hallway and he pushed the door open enough so he could lean in the frame. His sister was crouched in front of the porcelain bowl, looking far more ill than she had a little while ago.  This was familiar to something years ago.

“How far along are you?” he asked.

He nearly blurted out “I hope this one takes.”  God, he nearly said that. He was that out of it, wasn’t he?

“Eight weeks,” she said and then, “I haven’t even told Krillin yet so don’t say a word.”

He held his hands up. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

It was a parody of their usual dialogue.  An attempt at normalcy, but he seized it all the same.

“After last time.” Lazuli stopped herself and then turned to gag into the toilet.  Spittle flew out of her mouth and he looked away. “I want to wait this one out.”

He understood and nodded.  Then he left her to it.

\--

**_Four years ago_ **

 

Lapis swung his legs back and forth from where he was perched.  He hated parties, normally. When he wanted to go out and get tanked, he wanted to do so at a club.  Clubs were anonymous and he could lose himself in a crowd. Maybe grind on a random stranger and let the guy’s hands roam around in his pants in a toilet stall.  He hated parties, especially those held in lofts downtown. This one was someone from Lazuli’s fancy art school and he didn’t want to be here.

But he was there for her.

The man in the bathroom with him was bent over the toilet, vomiting from having drunk too much.  Lapis watched him, laughing from his spot on the counter. It was cruel but he was drunk, too, and it was such happenstance and fate that led them both to be at this party.  Him and his friend from the park. From the coffee shop, now, too. Raditz.

He was holding his own hair back with one, big hand as he heaved again into the bowl.

“Odd that someone your size can’t hold their liquor.”

“It’s--hrk--not the booze.” He leaned back on his haunches, the motion pulling his jeans deliciously tight. “The guacamole.”

“Oh.  I didn’t eat it because some animal put bacon in it.”

Raditz stared at him, managing to somehow look handsome even in the harsh light of the bathroom, even with his own spittle glistening on his chin.  Sickening.

“You a vegetarian?”

“Yeah.”

“Lucky, then.”

He lifted one shoulder.  Truthfully, his vision was going a bit double and the tequila he had unwisely fortified his beer with was hitting him in a way that wasn’t altogether pleasant.

“You know the guy?” he asked.

“Sorta.  Friend of a friend.  I needed to get drunk and not spend money on it, so.” His mouth drooped. “I’m in a shit mood.”

“And the bacon guacamole couldn’t have helped matters.”

He gave a laugh that was more like a cough. “No.”

Raditz staggered to his feet and made it to the sink.  Lapis watched him squeeze some toothpaste on his finger and run it around his mouth to wash out the taste of vomit.  He had to give him that at least.

“You’re not going to ask why I’m in a shit mood?”

He gave him the benefit of shrugging both shoulders this time.

“Join the club.”

Why Lazuli had dragged him to this party hosted by someone she constantly referred to as “insufferable.”  She had had a miscarriage and wanted to forget. At the party, though, she had quickly went from her usual self to her bawdy, rowdy drunk self followed by a very quick descent into maudlin drunk.  Two hours into this shitty party where a bunch of up-their-own-asses art students put bacon in guacamole, she called Krillin to take her home. To his home. Lapis was effectively stranded but he was drunk enough not to be concerned by it.  If it came down to it, he could call Lazurite or crawl into a taxi. He had options.

“I knew you looked like an art student.”

Raditz leaned both arms on the counter and tipped his head to the side so his hair fell down past his shoulder.  Lapis made an offended look.

“Absolutely fucking not.”

“Then how’d you get at this party?”

He echoed Raditz’s earlier words with a cheekily stated, “Friend of a friend.”

This earned him a slight grunt in response.  After a moment, Raditz spoke again.

“Then what are you?”

“Environmental sciences,” he said. “I’m going to be a park ranger.”

“You’d look good in that hat.”

He wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not.  He watched Raditz with his broad features and big shoulders.  His beefy arms and how they strained at the sleeves of his t-shirt.  The riotous mane of hair that was falling into the still wet basin of the sink.

“Thanks, Sasquatch.”

Raditz balked.

“What did you call me?”

“Sasquatch,” he said simply. “You’re big and hairy and mysterious.  You just turn up places and I wonder if you’re even real.”

He drew close and his breath smelled like rum barely masked by toothpaste.

“Oh, I’m very real.”

His eyes are sloshed in his head and Lapis was sure his were as well.  He was feeling the alcohol in his knees by now and the room was wavy like someone’s art project.

“I should get home,” he said, unsure why.

“I can take you home.”

His hand crept onto Lapis’s thigh and he let him leave it there.

“How?” he asked, leaning his upper body in towards him.  They were close enough now that he could feel the heat emanating off of his body. “You’re wasted.”

“Not that wasted.”

“Me neither.”

“And what would you do with me when you got there?”

Raditz smirked.

He wasn’t sure how they got in the taxi from the bathroom but someone had to had hailed it.  He had a vague, foggy image of Raditz leaping into the street to stop one and him laughing from the sidewalk.  The entire way back to his apartment, Raditz’s hand was between his thighs, rubbing along the inner seam of his jeans.

“My sister’s at her boyfriend’s,” he informed him. “But my roommate’s asleep so be quiet, you big ape.”

Raditz pressed his hand on his backside and said, “I love it when you talk dirty like that.”

It made him laugh.   _ He _ made him laugh.  Once inside, he dragged Raditz off into his bedroom and shut the door.  The ride had sobered him up enough to have some control of his faculties.  Both of them, it seemed, and there was no more vomiting--thank God. He pulled his own shirt off and took off his sneakers.  Watched Raditz fuss with his boots and get them off. He wanted to see that body unwrapped from his clothes.

“You move this fast with every guy you’ve had four conversations with?” Raditz asked.

“Sometimes less,” he responded. “Usually there’s more tequila involved.”

“Then I should feel special.”

Lapis smirked, cocking his head to the side.

“Yes, you should.”

He kissed him, wanting to shut him up that way.  They separated long enough for Raditz to pull his shirt off.  In the dark of his room, Lapis could see more than a few scars on the expanse of it.  He kissed them gently, letting his lips linger against his warm skin.

Raditz’s hands stroked down his shoulders and, looking at them, he couldn’t help but marvel at their size difference.  Raditz could probably crush his shoulders as if they were hollow and fragile. Lapis was all angles and planes and he was rounded, firm muscle.  He wanted him so badly, he ached for it. He grinded their crotches together, feeling the hardening length of him against his thigh.

“Take me.” He let his head lean back, exposing his neck.  His hair fell away from his forehead and he could feel eyes on him, dark and penetrating in the dark.

He half-expected a wry, “Take you where?” in response but he didn’t get anything at first.  Then, a pair of lips on his neck.

“Okay,” Raditz said in a throaty voice. “Okay.”

\--

Lapis skipped on his usual at the coffee shop.  He opted instead for a cold brew since he had no sleep.  He had already decided to miss class today even though he was sure he had an exam or some sort of something that he couldn’t remember.  He would e-mail his professors later about it. He didn’t want to think about it now. Didn’t want to think about much of anything.

Krillin and Lazuli took Sasquatch to the dog park so he was alone with his thoughts and this liquified club drug disguised as coffee.  It was a gloomy day to mirror his mood and he was inside, hunched over a table. He had done little while getting dressed this morning than pull a bulky sweater on over whatever t-shirt he had dragged out of his drawer in his haste to get out of his apartment.  He had nicked a pair of Lazuli’s yoga pants because he had forgotten to bring any pants of his own. He felt rank and spit up and the true weight of what happened to him was finally settling in.

“Lapis.”

_ No.  No. No.  No. _

He looked up and glared at Raditz because it was all he could muster at current.  Raditz held his hands up in mock surrender.

“I just wanted to see if you were here ‘cause I owe you an apology.” His mouth soured. “Again.  Shit.”

“Yeah,” he said. “You do.”

Raditz took a step closer but he didn’t take a seat.  Didn’t try to touch him.

“I never wanted you mixed up in this,” he said. “Ever.  And when I went to your place, it  _ was _ just to sleep and--shit, okay.  I never thought they’d--I wasn’t even a blip--I mean, it’s fucked up.  And I’m sorry.”

Lapis used to love when he fumbled like this.  When he would step on his own words and get frustrated with his own tongue.  He would always smooth his hair back and kiss him.

“It was,” he said flatly.

He didn’t know what else to say.  Raditz’s apology was sincere, but it didn’t erase that knowing him had led to him being fucking kidnapped and held at gunpoint.

“I’m leaving my brother’s place,” he said. “Staying at a motel.  I can’t keep letting people I care about be put in danger.”

“I still fall under that, huh?”

Raditz’s hangdog expression suddenly turned fierce and he stared at him full on.

“You never didn’t,” he said. “Lapis, I know why you broke up with me, and I hated it at the time but never think I stopped caring about you.  Got it?”

He was too sleep-deprived to begin to unpack that.  To begin to process his emotional response.

“Okay,” he said.  And then, because he could never help himself, he added. “Gayngster.”

Raditz’s lips twisted.  He had called him that before.  It was a term of endearment. Like Tin Man and Sasquatch.  Their little list of names they’d call each other. Something passed between them when neither of them spoke.  Lapis didn’t want to put a name to it but there was a shift.

“You should go,” he said. “If the police question me again, the only thing I’d have to tell them is that I saw you.  The less I have to say to them the better.”

This time there was a real smile.  They had often talked about their shared dislike for cops.  Then it faded.

“I’m sorry again.  I. You won’t have to worry anymore, Tin Man.  Okay?”

He nodded and then Raditz was gone out the door.  He wouldn’t have to worry anymore. Raditz would be out of his life.  He sipped on his coffee, wincing at the bitterness of it. Wasn’t that what he wanted?  He wanted to push him away, get over him, get on with his life. Stop worrying about him.  Stop living dangerously. Stop. Stop. But the feelings hadn’t gone away. He had broken up with him because it was the right thing to do, even when his heart felt like it was being shredded.

Because he never stopped caring about him either.

\--

The blinking cursor mocked him.  Lapis chewed his lip as he tried to bang out a quick makeup essay for the exam he missed.  His professor was understanding but wanted something to put in the grade book for him. The others just excused him since he was meant to work on field work and journals for them anyway.  This was, of course, the axe-grinder who wanted physical and tangible evidence of their retention.

The essay should have been easy but he was back in his apartment after the police cleared it.  They’d had his locked fixed and changed and Lapis had messaged Lazurite and then immediately talk him down from taking a flight back.  He knew he had worked hard to get this work study and he wasn’t going to let him squander it.

So it was him and Sasquatch and this laptop.

And the overwhelming sense of uneasiness.

He thought he would be fine here but every sound made him jump.  And when he jumped, Sasquatch would lift his head in concern before falling back asleep.

He always called himself a survivor.  He survived living with his parents and every incident he landed himself in when he was a hellion.  He survived coming out. Shitty boyfriends. Bad breakups. Breaking his own heart. He was cool-headed and unflappable.  Silver-tongued and sure of himself. Yet, his fingers would lock up over the keys. His mind raced and every sound made him twitch.

Somewhere down the hall, he heard one of his neighbors slam a door.  Or maybe it wasn’t a neighbor. Without thinking, he lunged for his phone.  With shaking fingers, he unlocked the screen and scrambled through his phone contacts to get to the L’s and call his sister or Lazurite.  Either one would do. He pressed “call” and waited for it to ring.

“Hello?”

The voice wasn’t his best friend’s or Lazuli’s and he dropped it on the couch.  The screen lit up again when it was pulled from his ear and he saw the name: Kakarrot.  He still had Raditz’s brother’s phone number and in his anxious haste, he had gone to the K’s instead of the L’s.  He picked the phone back up, feeling foolish.

“Sorry,” he said.

“Lapis?” Kakarrot asked. “That is you, right?  My caller ID said so anyway.”

“Yes,” he said. “But I dialed the wrong number.  Sorry. Um, bye.”

He hung up and dropped his head into his hands.  He was a fucking mess. His phone vibrated and began to ring, David Byrne’s voice singing about staying up all night.  Lapis saw Kakarrot’s name on the ID and felt like ignoring the call out of embarrassment but his brother was nice, as he remembered.  So he accepted.

“Raditz told me what happened,” he said. “Are you alright?”

He paused, unsure what to say.  Kakarrot laughed on the other end.

“Dumb question, huh?  Chi-Chi says I do nothin’ but ask ‘em.  Are you back at your place?”

“Yes,” he said and looked around his apartment.

Lazurite’s bird rattled its food dish and he nearly jumped.  Shit.

“Do you want to stay at our place?  I can text you the address. If you don’t wanna impose on Krillin or anything.”

Right.  Kakarrot knew Krillin.  This town was too goddamn small.  He was about to refuse but he remembered about what Raditz said about staying at a motel.  He wouldn’t have to see him.

“I have a dog,” he said.

“That’s fine.  Bring him, too.”

Lapis wasn’t sure why he was being so kind except that that was just what he was like.  He thanked him and hung up. He had to get Sasquatch’s food and bowls. Had to proper pack an overnight bag.  He changed the newspaper in the bird’s cage and got his things together. He felt good, leaving the apartment and getting in the Lyft.

Kakarrot and his family lived in a little burrough of neighborhoods across the bridge.  It wasn’t just apartments but houses with little yards enclosed in chain link fences. Their house was small and brick, but looked homey.  Lived in. Outdoor children’s toys dotted the yard that was covered in its fair share of leaves. He made his way up the narrow stairs to the door and rang the bell.  Kakarrot appeared, holding a chicken leg in one hand.

“Hey,” he said with a grin. “We were just finishing up dinner.  Come on in.”

He opened the screen door for him and Lapis entered.  Enticed by the smell of chicken, Sasquatch made a dash for the kitchen.  He could hear excited squeals on behalf of the children.

“Finish your dinner,” Chi-Chi said, voice loud. “Then you can pet the dog.”

The couch had already been pulled out and made up and he dropped his bag there.  He wasn’t sure why Kakarrot was being so kind except for his nature. Why he always stood up for Raditz even when their relationship was the most strained.

Lapis trailed into the kitchen even though he didn’t eat fried chicken and had less than zero appetite.  Goten was kicking his legs excitedly from where he was strapped into his booster seat. Mashed potatoes were smeared on his face.  Gohan held a wing of chicken in one hand and kept glancing from his mother to Sasquatch as if he wondered if he could get away with feeding the dog some chicken without Chi-Chi noticing.  Lapis noticed a fourth person at the table--someone who was hard to miss. He sat behind the bucket of chicken, a drumstick held between their hands. He looked at Sasquatch, clearly recognizing him.  Then his gaze dragged up and settled on Lapis. He cursed at himself for not verifying with Kakarrot before he took him up on his offer.

He watched the drumstick fall from Raditz’s fingers and land with a dull thump on his paper plate.  Lapis bit down on his upper lip, worrying it with his bottom row of teeth and then let go.

“Nice motel you’ve found.”

\--

**_Three years ago_ **

 

The sun shone merrily and Lapis wanted to knock it from the sky.  He knew he had done the right thing. He couldn’t take it anymore.  The “meetings” and the way Raditz would disappear from his bed in the middle of the night.  How, if it woke him up, he would be up half the night wondered if he were dead. He tried to block it out or play it off like he was cool with it, but he wasn’t.  He didn’t want to be with someone he had to worry about getting killed every night.

But his heart felt like he had put it in a food processor.

He hadn’t wanted to think that it was love, but if it wasn’t then his very bones wouldn’t ache like this.  He loved Raditz and that was why he had to end it. Because life was fucking cruel. Life dealt people hands and they dealt with them in their own way.  And he couldn’t deal with how Raditz played anymore. And it was killing him.

This was the first day he had wandered out of his apartment.  Lazurite had tried to cheer him up as best he could, but Lapis had been despondent for the first few days.  Now he was going for a walk to begin to let his wounds scab over.

He veered towards the park, straying from that one certain sidewalk, and turned down one that was far more populated.  It was the first truly warm day of spring and everyone was out. Frisbees were being freely flung. Couples walked together.  At the curve of the path, he saw a decently-sized playpen set up filled with puppies. As he approached, he saw that one of the foster services was having an adoption day.  Lapis looked at the puppies rolling over each other and in the grass and he felt a smile tug on his lips. His apartment didn’t have a pet policy. He could get a dog so long as he paid the deposit.

_ A dog won’t make things better. _

But they couldn’t make them worse.  He had finished his undergrad and he had time before he started his masters.  He could make time for a dog. He looked over the puppies and his eyes found one that looked sort of goofy.  He was a fluffy thing with huge paws that kept bounding to the other puppies and yipping excitedly.

“He’s a leonberger/newfoundland mix.”

One of the volunteers had come up while Lapis had been lost in thought.  She must have noticed him staring.

“He’s going to be huge,” he murmured.

She nodded, eyes down. “Yeah, that’s the problem.  A lot of people don’t want one that big in the city.”

Lapis stared at the dog and how it was big and goofy and had that ridiculous hair.

“I’ll adopt him,” he said before he could stop himself.

She seemed surprised.

“Don’t you want to do a temperament test?”

He shook his head. “No.  He’s perfect. I can tell.”

And he could.  The puppy maybe noticed that they were talking about him because he bounded over and stood on his hind legs.  He panted happily, tongue lolling out of his mouth. Lapis reached his hand out and he licked him enthusiastically.

Moments later, he was wiggling on a makeshift leash as Lapis filled out adoption papers and paid a cash fee.  He got to the blank for the name and then down at the dog. Thought about his size and his furriness.

He put the pen to the sheet and quickly wrote “Sasquatch.”

\--

“I was just getting my stuff,” Raditz said.  He wiped his grease-covered fingers on a napkin.

Kakarrot came into the kitchen and knelt down to scratch Sasquatch behind the ears.  The dog immediately took to him, putting his paws up on his thighs and licking at him.

“And I said he’s family and I wasn’t letting him sleep in a motel.”

_ Christ… _

Kakarrot was forgiving but he knew, at some point, their relationship had been frayed.  Especially growing up with Raditz in trouble and Kakarrot trying to make up for it. But now his good nature had left Lapis in an entirely awkward situation.  He had just admitted to himself that his feelings for Raditz had never gone away and had to live with the fact that he was never going to see him again but here he was, standing in front of him and eating fried chicken.

Later, when dinner was disposed of, he occupied himself with watching Goten and Gohan play with his dog and pointedly did  _ not _ look at Raditz.

“Can we get a dog for real?” Gohan asked.

He had grown since Lapis had seen him last.  He seemed less shy and easily frightened, too.  Goten squealed with delight, rubbing his face into Sasquatch’s heavy coat.

“We can’t afford a dog,” Chi-Chi explained. “And we don’t have room.”

Both boys lowered their heads.

“Maybe one day.”

“Kakarrot!”

He grinned sheepishly and she sighed, dropping her head.  It was a resigned sigh, like she knew that she wouldn’t stay mad at him.

“Can Sasquatch sleep in our room, at least?”

Gohan and Goten aimed dual, big-eyed stares at their parents and the effect was so potent that even Lapis was caught in the crossfire.

“That’s up to Lapis,” Chi-Chi said.

“Fine by me,” he said because that was at least one thing he was sure of.

Both boys cheered and Sasquatch let out a harrumphing bark of approval.  Things were a lot less certain later when everyone had gone to bed and he realized he would have to share the pullout with Raditz.

“I’ll sleep on the floor,” he said gruffly and then, “I didn’t put my brother up to this.”

Lapis tried not to watch him as he shifted uneasily on the wafer thin mattress of the pullout.

“I know,” he said.

“I really was leaving.”

“I know.”

A moment of charged silence passed between them and Lapis couldn’t stand it.

“Get on the fucking bed.”

He could feel what springs there were in the mattress groan as Raditz rolled onto it and spite the fact that it was maybe a full-size mattress, there was an entire gulf of space between them.

“I never got to thank you,” Raditz said.

“Thank me?”

“For dumping me.  It was the wakeup call I needed.  I. What made me get out of it.”

He was being cute and stumbling over his words again and Lapis rolled over on the bed.  Squeezed his eyes shut. Squeezed him out.

“Three years ago,” he said.

“I know.  But I can’t just snap my fingers and be on the straight and narrow.”

Lapis laughed, the feeling of it jagged in his throat.

“You’ll never be straight  _ or _ narrow.”

Raditz laughed, too, and it felt like salt water on a cut.  But then the feeling after. Of putting cold, clean water on it.  Soothing. He rolled back over.

“I’ll only say this once,” he said. “I didn’t break up with you because I didn’t care about you.  I never stopped caring about you.”

Raditz’s eyes were impossibly dark in the gloom of the living room.

“Me neither,” he said, “but you knew that.”

He reached his hand across the mattress and Lapis was then aware of close they really were.  He met his hand and let their fingers lace together.

“So,” he said. “What do we do?”

“I’m surprised you don’t have the answer.”

“Oh, shut up.” Lapis paused. “I don’t know if I can be with you yet.”

Raditz bobbed his head. “That’s fine.  I understand.”

“But one day.”

“One day soon?”

He sounded hopeful.  Looked it, too. Lapis nodded.  They had work to do and a lot more to talk about but he knew certain things for certain.  He wanted to see him follow through on his promise.

“Geta let me break clean,” he said. “But Zarbon didn’t get the memo.  I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.  I forgive you.”

“They know now, but what happened to you.  Fuck.”

“Yeah.”

They were so close now, they could almost whisper the words into each other’s mouths.  Lapis wasn’t sure who kissed who first but they were kissing and logic dictated that they shouldn’t, but.  He wanted this. God, his mind was a mess, but he didn’t care. He knew, at this moment, this was what he wanted.

He pulled back and it was torture, but he knew he had to.

“We shouldn’t,” he said. “There’s a lot still to talk about and--besides, I don’t want to have sex while your brother and his wife are eavesdropping on us from their bedroom.”

From behind the closed door at the end of the living room, he heard Chi-Chi’s muffled cry of, “We are not!”

Raditz chuckled and nodded.

“Okay, okay.  But, God, kissing you again…”

Lapis dipped his chin and tried to hide his smile.  He had missed it. But they needed time. He understood that, but.  This was a start. He rested his head on his pillow and curled closer.  The last thing he remembered before he dropped off asleep was the feeling of Raditz’s hand still in his.

\--

**_Four years ago_ **

 

Lapis knew, on some level, that he was kind of pathetic.  He had several things that he  _ should _ be doing, but instead he was sitting on a bench in the park, waiting for the same hot guy to come jogging by.  He first noticed him when he was taking a walk with Lazurite one day after classes. He always jogged in the evenings, at dusk, when the air started to cool.  He was tall and built and incredibly handsome. He had broad shoulders and a tapered waist and always wore blue. A tight blue tank top and blue running shoes.  A pair of blue shorts that were loose enough that Lapis could see his package bouncing up and down as he ran. He was beginning to wonder if he had to take up jogging just to talk to him.

Not that he was that desperate.  He knew he was good-looking and could land a guy but Blue, as he dubbed him, was otherworldly hot.

He heard footsteps down the path but it wasn’t the pounding of sneakers on pavement.  It sounded like someone dragging their feet.

_ Oh, maybe I can give Blue some first-aid if he injured himself… _

Lapis leaned over from his spot on the bench where he had been pretending to read a book and saw a guy come slowly down the sidewalk.  He was tall and big, the sheer broadness of him showcased by the thin, long-sleeved shirt he wore. With a grunt, the guy settled on the edge of the bench and dropped his head into his hands.  A heavy curtain of coarse dark hair fell over his face. Lapis knew he was a mouthy little shit who couldn’t resist so he spoke.

“Rough day?”

The guy looked up and let out a mirthless laugh.

“You could say that.”

At this angle, Lapis could see that he was pretty cute despite the haggard expression.  He closed the book, giving up the pretense of reading.

“I’m Lapis,” he said.

The guy was visibly surprised by his admission.  It was written all over his face and he was suddenly certain that he would do terribly at poker.  He regarded him for a second longer before he spoke.

“I’m Raditz.”


End file.
